WWBD 01: What Would Buddha Do... in the heat of an argument?

This is the first in a short series of extracts from a book called, "What Would Buddha Do?", by Franz Metcalf, PhD (University of Chicago), co-author of "Buddhist Spirituality". [Seastone press, 1999]

The question, "What Would Buddha Do?", has become an acronym, as "WWBD", which is now gaining popularity through Internet email and chat communications, mobile phone text messaging, day-to-day speech and even advertising.  See, for example, The Free Dictionary's Acronym database or the commercial website called WhatWouldBuddhaDo.net .

From WWBD, the book, page 84:

[Right speech] is well-said, not ill-said; sense, not nonsense;
pleasing, not displeasing; true, not untrue.

We all need to speak out.  Sometimes we even do it wisely and well, but usually we do it in the grip of anger, frustration or ignorance.  I cannot tell you how many times I've felt anger impelling me toward some cutting comment to my wife, known how foolish it would be to give in to this anger, and done it anyway, just for the twisted pleasure of it.  We are all like this.

Buddha suggests another way.  Monks are never to engage in such destructive speech; for them it is a rule to obey.  For us it is a precept to follow, but it is a good one.  Think back on your life and count the times you have changed someone or something for the better through insults and falsehoods.  I personally can't think of even one.  But I have changed persons and things for the better, even in the midst of fights, by following Buddha's advice.  Sometimes, when my wife and I can hold our tongues until our speech is pleasing, our fights turn to work and our our work to joy.

Glossary

All entries below are borrowed from The Free Dictionary, http://www.thefreedictionary.com/.  Definitions in bold indicate those used in the text above.

frus·tra·tion   (fr-strsh n)

n.

1.

a. The act of frustrating or an instance of being frustrated.

b. The state of being frustrated.

2. Something that serves to frustrate.

frus·trate   (frstrt )
tr.v. frus·trat·ed, frus·trat·ing, frus·trates; n. frustrat er; adv. frustrating·ly

1.

a. To prevent from accomplishing a purpose or fulfilling a desire; thwart: A persistent wind frustrated my attempt to rake the lawn.

b. To cause feelings of discouragement or bafflement in.

2. To make ineffectual or invalid; nullify.

[Middle English frustraten, from Latin frstrr , frstrt-, from fr str, in vain.]

ig·no·rance   (gnr- ns)

n. The condition of being uneducated, unaware, or uninformed.

im·pel   (m-pl)

tr.v. im·pelled, im·pel·ling, im·pels

1. To urge to action through moral pressure; drive: I was impelled by events to take a stand.

2. To drive forward; propel.

[Middle English impellen, from Latin impellere : in-, against; see in-² + pellere, to drive; see pel-⁵ in Indo-European roots.]

cut·ting   (ktng)

adj.

1. Capable of or designed for incising, shearing, or severing: a cutting tool.

2. Sharply penetrating; piercing: a cutting wind.

3. Injuring or capable of injuring the feelings of others: a cutting remark. See Synonyms at incisive.

false·hood   (fôlshd)

n.

1. An untrue statement; a lie.

2. The practice of lying.

3. Lack of conformity to truth or fact; inaccuracy.

midst   (mdst, mtst)

n.

1. The middle position or part; the center: in the midst of the desert.

2. A position of proximity to others: a stranger in our midst.

3. The condition of being surrounded or beset by something: in the midst of all of our problems.

4. A period of time approximately in the middle of a continuing condition or act: in the midst of the war.

prep.

Among; amid.

[Middle English middes, middest : alteration of Old English midde, middle; see medhyo- in Indo-European roots.]

to hold one's tongue (old-fashioned, idiom)
to stop talking [or not talk - ADM]. George had learned to accept these little insults. He held his tongue.
[See also http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/hold+(one's)+tongue]